I know, I know. I'm a hopeless blogger but I never get the chance to go online with work etc. It also means I haven't seen my family since Christmas (and barely spoken to them) and I don't get much chance to speak to Kate =(
I'm tell you about my odd few weeks. Well I split up with Karl. We started going out 1 day after my last blog last year after a party. Was kinda sweet how we got together. We had been texting each other and calling each other and speaking loads and eventually we were at Fish Boi's having a smoke and a drink and when Karl and I went to go get beer on our way back I stopped cause I was in front of him, turned round, looked at him and walked up to him and kisses him. Very Hollywood haha. Anyway we split up about a week before Valentine's Day (saved me money =p) and basically went and just got off with people when I was out. My fault we split up. I didn't admit to basically giving a guy a handjob ages ago before me and him. So he didn't talk to me for ages and everytime I was at his he'd spend the whole day/night upstairs just cause I was there (he's better now. Me and him pull all nighters and just chill together now which is good). Then came Si. I had met him when I was going out with Karl and his reaction was....well.......good. Bit dirty to put on here. Si is my friend Gen's fiancee's cousin and Karls friend. I refused point blank at first to do anything with him. Then I got to know him cause I thought he was a knobhead when I first met him but I'd be on the computer at Gen's and he sat with me for hours while we just talked. Then I realised he wasn't as bad as I thought. Then we ended up getting very coupley and things and we had great sex. Seriously........any wonder he's going into porn! So we were going along nicely and then people started to comment on how coupley we were for friends. So he went all weird; we had a 'talk' and he said I needed to know that there would never be a relationship and it was just casual sex. I was like 'yea fine'. But obviously I was a bit upset cus I didn't exactly put myself out there with him. Made him wait a bit. Gen thinks he does like me he's just scared of what will happen cause he has been hurt a lot in the past. Just like Karl then. Well anyway on Sunday I went round and all morning and afternoon; up until Karl came home from work we were more cuddly than we ever had been in a long time. Si got up to get ready; I asked Karl where Si was going and he said "to a girls house he met at Morrisons". Put me a bit off Si as he's 25 and she's 17 and it seems a bit wrong but Gen said rather than what me and him are like and just fuck buddies properly; this guy was definately just a shag. She apparently basically just said to him "yea you wanna fuck" which is a bit gross. Anyway Simon went out to meet this girl; Gen n Rich went to bed and I was left with Karl. He was on the recliner and I had just made a spliff but it was a bit tight so I asked him to sort it out for me. He came and sat on the sofa and sorted it. When he had sorted it he stayed on the couch. We chilled and talked. And then somehow we ended up fuckin like bunnies. Now I'm really confused cause I've always held a small flame for him since we split up but I accepted it was not to be. I said I'd never get back with him and I wouldn't do anything with him again. And now this happened. It's just weird. Haha they want a threesome too, Gen keeps encouraging me saying I'll enjoy it but my ex and my ex's friend together; slept with them both; don't know if it'll be a tad too weird. I've never had a threesome and it never really appealed to me that much but Gen is insisting I'll absolutely love it. Haha I'm not so sure.
So tomrorow; will me and Si be the same as before or will we completely avoid each other (we generally; sex or not; sleep on the couch together)? Will there be sexual tension between me and Karl? Will they bring up THAT subject? Will Karl tell Si about it? What will happen I don't know....only time will tell.
I'm getting fed up of Southport; I thought I'd settle here but not as much as I thought. I have my few close friends. But there's the fact I hardly see or speak to Kate cause I'm always all over the place doing this and that. I'd like to be closer to her but I don't know what to do. I've sort of dropped out of college; exams are next month and I've not attended college since before xmas. I think my option will be. Fail these then re take them in January once lots of revision has been done. See what my results will be. But it's scary. I don't particularly want to go to university but I don't know what career to choose. I'm at a point in my life where I'm fed up of it. It's becoming increasingly difficult to live with two disabled parents; a shit job; and a hell of a lot of worries. I have no idea what a good career would be for me. I'm in such a rut any help is appreciated at the moment.
Ok that was my blog - I will definately definately try and keep it up more - once a week at least. Well, I've got to stick at something eventually.
xXx
I'm tell you about my odd few weeks. Well I split up with Karl. We started going out 1 day after my last blog last year after a party. Was kinda sweet how we got together. We had been texting each other and calling each other and speaking loads and eventually we were at Fish Boi's having a smoke and a drink and when Karl and I went to go get beer on our way back I stopped cause I was in front of him, turned round, looked at him and walked up to him and kisses him. Very Hollywood haha. Anyway we split up about a week before Valentine's Day (saved me money =p) and basically went and just got off with people when I was out. My fault we split up. I didn't admit to basically giving a guy a handjob ages ago before me and him. So he didn't talk to me for ages and everytime I was at his he'd spend the whole day/night upstairs just cause I was there (he's better now. Me and him pull all nighters and just chill together now which is good). Then came Si. I had met him when I was going out with Karl and his reaction was....well.......good. Bit dirty to put on here. Si is my friend Gen's fiancee's cousin and Karls friend. I refused point blank at first to do anything with him. Then I got to know him cause I thought he was a knobhead when I first met him but I'd be on the computer at Gen's and he sat with me for hours while we just talked. Then I realised he wasn't as bad as I thought. Then we ended up getting very coupley and things and we had great sex. Seriously........any wonder he's going into porn! So we were going along nicely and then people started to comment on how coupley we were for friends. So he went all weird; we had a 'talk' and he said I needed to know that there would never be a relationship and it was just casual sex. I was like 'yea fine'. But obviously I was a bit upset cus I didn't exactly put myself out there with him. Made him wait a bit. Gen thinks he does like me he's just scared of what will happen cause he has been hurt a lot in the past. Just like Karl then. Well anyway on Sunday I went round and all morning and afternoon; up until Karl came home from work we were more cuddly than we ever had been in a long time. Si got up to get ready; I asked Karl where Si was going and he said "to a girls house he met at Morrisons". Put me a bit off Si as he's 25 and she's 17 and it seems a bit wrong but Gen said rather than what me and him are like and just fuck buddies properly; this guy was definately just a shag. She apparently basically just said to him "yea you wanna fuck" which is a bit gross. Anyway Simon went out to meet this girl; Gen n Rich went to bed and I was left with Karl. He was on the recliner and I had just made a spliff but it was a bit tight so I asked him to sort it out for me. He came and sat on the sofa and sorted it. When he had sorted it he stayed on the couch. We chilled and talked. And then somehow we ended up fuckin like bunnies. Now I'm really confused cause I've always held a small flame for him since we split up but I accepted it was not to be. I said I'd never get back with him and I wouldn't do anything with him again. And now this happened. It's just weird. Haha they want a threesome too, Gen keeps encouraging me saying I'll enjoy it but my ex and my ex's friend together; slept with them both; don't know if it'll be a tad too weird. I've never had a threesome and it never really appealed to me that much but Gen is insisting I'll absolutely love it. Haha I'm not so sure.
So tomrorow; will me and Si be the same as before or will we completely avoid each other (we generally; sex or not; sleep on the couch together)? Will there be sexual tension between me and Karl? Will they bring up THAT subject? Will Karl tell Si about it? What will happen I don't know....only time will tell.
I'm getting fed up of Southport; I thought I'd settle here but not as much as I thought. I have my few close friends. But there's the fact I hardly see or speak to Kate cause I'm always all over the place doing this and that. I'd like to be closer to her but I don't know what to do. I've sort of dropped out of college; exams are next month and I've not attended college since before xmas. I think my option will be. Fail these then re take them in January once lots of revision has been done. See what my results will be. But it's scary. I don't particularly want to go to university but I don't know what career to choose. I'm at a point in my life where I'm fed up of it. It's becoming increasingly difficult to live with two disabled parents; a shit job; and a hell of a lot of worries. I have no idea what a good career would be for me. I'm in such a rut any help is appreciated at the moment.
Ok that was my blog - I will definately definately try and keep it up more - once a week at least. Well, I've got to stick at something eventually.
xXx
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