Saturday, 11 April 2009
Tuesday, 13 January 2009
Since October
Well, since October:
- I'm now jobless; a week before my 21st. I'm not complaining really - I hated that job
- I'm 21 - it was the worst day for a long time
- Xmas was good - cheap and cheerful
- New year was good - cheap and cheerful
- I'm rediscovering friends
- I think life may get a little better this year (hopefully)
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
I Raided Boots!
Well Pay Day came on Friday and I got my last month's sick pay with my wage so I'm very happy! Although I could of done with it last month!
A trip to Boots was in order and these are my current and new discoveries:
Toni and Guy Straight and Protect Shampoo and Conditioner
This product was bought because the whole 3 for 2 offer at Boots; and I'm definately a bargin girl. These leave my hair soft, shiny and managable. Expensive at £5 each, but they last a long time and are definately worth the money.
Toni and Guy Iron-It Heat Defence Spray
Ok this was a 2 month ago haircare find. It doesn't smell too bad and does what it says on the pack. And it lasts forever!! It also works as a type of conditioner to help your hair retain it's moisture.
Aussie 3 Minute Miracle Reconstructor
Everyone knows of the joy which is Aussie 3 Minute Miracle products. My hair was left soooo soft it was great!
Aussie Miracle Hair Insurance Leave-In Conditioner
Another one that everyone knows. I use it for de-tangling after a shower.
Umberto Giannini Overnight Beauty Moisture Balm
Leaves hair glorious! Kate introduced me to this a few months ago and it is really good.
And not forgetting these little diamonds:
So basically to get the full softness of hair I put the Umberto Giannini Overnight Beauty Moisture Balm on in the evening and leave it on overnight. I then shampoo my hair with the Toni and Guy Straight and Protect Shampoo, twice. If my hair is in need of more therapy, after the shampoo, the Aussie 3 Minute Miracle Reconstructor is left on for about 5 minutes. It's then rinsed out and followed by the Toni and Guy Straight and Protect Conditioner which is applied only 3/4 up head to stop any greasiness from the root and I leave it on for 5 minutes as well and rinse thoroughly. Followed by a cold rinse in the shower as this enhances shine. I blot my hair dry and spray the Aussie Miracle Hair Insurance Leave-In Conditioner to the ends of my hair only then liberally spray the Toni and Guy Iron-It Heat Defence Spray which also conditioners my hair as well as protects it from the hairdryer and the straightners. After blowdrying hair, finish with a cold blast from the hairdryer as this also enhances shine. Dispense a small amount of John Freida Frizz-Ease Hair Serum onto your hand; rub it over the back and front of your fingers and then slightly catch the hair at the ends so that it doesn't get greasy at the roots. This gives it a good texture. Spraying John Freida Frizz-Ease Serum Finishing Spray from about 20cm away means your whole head is covered with some Frizz-Ease for ease of style. Finishing off with hairspray keeps the everything in tact.
My beauty finds are as follows:
Nivea Soft Intensive Moisturising Cream
I first received a sample of this moisturiser through the post (I test loads of products) and was slightly wary. The original blue Nivea Moisturiser just didn't work for my skin. I tested the sample and after applying it and leaving it to soak in; 15 minutes later my skin was so soft. I couldn't believe it. I liked it so much I went and bought it to replace my Simple moisturiser (which I thought was good anyway).
Olay Daily Facials Express
Bought from a recommendation from Kate. These wipes remove make up and (stubbingly) mascara. They leave your skin really soft, clean and refreshed.
Rimmel Natural Bronzer
This bronzer used sparingly gives a nice sun kissed glow without going over the top and looking like you're caked in make up!
No7 Hydro Quench Pore-Refining Serum
My skin is fairly flawless, but I don't like the enlarged pores I had on my face. I spoke to the make up advisor and there was a 3 for 2 on the No7 Products so I thought I'd give something new a go. I explained I'd like something that tights the pores. She recommended this and from the first application my face looked noticeably more flawless and my pores have tightened. This is so good it's possible that you don't need anything like foundation on top of it.
No7 Instant Radiance Concealer
I was looking for a decent concealer for my unfortunate dark circles under my eyes and saw this recommendation in a magazine. For £11.95 it sounds pricey but it works wonder. After applying the concealer the dark under my eyes couldn't be seen. It lightens and brightens the eye area and combined with the pore-refining serum; your face ends up looking flawless.
No7 Extreme Length Mascara
I wasn't on the look out for a new mascara as my No7 Dream Lash worked great but talking to the make up advisor (same one) she convinced me to get this mascara, telling me, if you don't like it, you can bring it back. Well obviously I liked it or it wouldn't be on the list. Amazing mascara, defines the lashes well with the revolutionary wand. And I got a free smoky eye palette!
And not forgetting these tried, tested and loved products:
A trip to Boots was in order and these are my current and new discoveries:
Toni and Guy Straight and Protect Shampoo and Conditioner
This product was bought because the whole 3 for 2 offer at Boots; and I'm definately a bargin girl. These leave my hair soft, shiny and managable. Expensive at £5 each, but they last a long time and are definately worth the money.
Toni and Guy Iron-It Heat Defence Spray
Ok this was a 2 month ago haircare find. It doesn't smell too bad and does what it says on the pack. And it lasts forever!! It also works as a type of conditioner to help your hair retain it's moisture.
Aussie 3 Minute Miracle Reconstructor
Everyone knows of the joy which is Aussie 3 Minute Miracle products. My hair was left soooo soft it was great!
Aussie Miracle Hair Insurance Leave-In Conditioner
Another one that everyone knows. I use it for de-tangling after a shower.
Umberto Giannini Overnight Beauty Moisture BalmLeaves hair glorious! Kate introduced me to this a few months ago and it is really good.
And not forgetting these little diamonds:
- Dry Shampoo - it doesn't matter which brand; it's great for sprucing up oily roots!
- John Freida Frizz-Ease Hair Serum - using a little bit goes a long way
- John Freida Frizz-Ease Serum Finishing Spray - helps ward off the weather which can end up making your hair look like an afro
- Shine Spray - for when you want to sparkle!
- Hairspray - to keep it all in place
So basically to get the full softness of hair I put the Umberto Giannini Overnight Beauty Moisture Balm on in the evening and leave it on overnight. I then shampoo my hair with the Toni and Guy Straight and Protect Shampoo, twice. If my hair is in need of more therapy, after the shampoo, the Aussie 3 Minute Miracle Reconstructor is left on for about 5 minutes. It's then rinsed out and followed by the Toni and Guy Straight and Protect Conditioner which is applied only 3/4 up head to stop any greasiness from the root and I leave it on for 5 minutes as well and rinse thoroughly. Followed by a cold rinse in the shower as this enhances shine. I blot my hair dry and spray the Aussie Miracle Hair Insurance Leave-In Conditioner to the ends of my hair only then liberally spray the Toni and Guy Iron-It Heat Defence Spray which also conditioners my hair as well as protects it from the hairdryer and the straightners. After blowdrying hair, finish with a cold blast from the hairdryer as this also enhances shine. Dispense a small amount of John Freida Frizz-Ease Hair Serum onto your hand; rub it over the back and front of your fingers and then slightly catch the hair at the ends so that it doesn't get greasy at the roots. This gives it a good texture. Spraying John Freida Frizz-Ease Serum Finishing Spray from about 20cm away means your whole head is covered with some Frizz-Ease for ease of style. Finishing off with hairspray keeps the everything in tact.
My beauty finds are as follows:
Nivea Soft Intensive Moisturising Cream
I first received a sample of this moisturiser through the post (I test loads of products) and was slightly wary. The original blue Nivea Moisturiser just didn't work for my skin. I tested the sample and after applying it and leaving it to soak in; 15 minutes later my skin was so soft. I couldn't believe it. I liked it so much I went and bought it to replace my Simple moisturiser (which I thought was good anyway).
Olay Daily Facials ExpressBought from a recommendation from Kate. These wipes remove make up and (stubbingly) mascara. They leave your skin really soft, clean and refreshed.
Rimmel Natural Bronzer
This bronzer used sparingly gives a nice sun kissed glow without going over the top and looking like you're caked in make up!
No7 Hydro Quench Pore-Refining Serum
My skin is fairly flawless, but I don't like the enlarged pores I had on my face. I spoke to the make up advisor and there was a 3 for 2 on the No7 Products so I thought I'd give something new a go. I explained I'd like something that tights the pores. She recommended this and from the first application my face looked noticeably more flawless and my pores have tightened. This is so good it's possible that you don't need anything like foundation on top of it.
No7 Instant Radiance Concealer
I was looking for a decent concealer for my unfortunate dark circles under my eyes and saw this recommendation in a magazine. For £11.95 it sounds pricey but it works wonder. After applying the concealer the dark under my eyes couldn't be seen. It lightens and brightens the eye area and combined with the pore-refining serum; your face ends up looking flawless.
No7 Extreme Length MascaraI wasn't on the look out for a new mascara as my No7 Dream Lash worked great but talking to the make up advisor (same one) she convinced me to get this mascara, telling me, if you don't like it, you can bring it back. Well obviously I liked it or it wouldn't be on the list. Amazing mascara, defines the lashes well with the revolutionary wand. And I got a free smoky eye palette!
And not forgetting these tried, tested and loved products:
- Collection 2000 Clear Mascara - for controlling unruly brows and keeping them in place
- No7 Amazing Eye Pencil - a cult classic eyeliner which stays on well
- Nivea Lip Care, Velvet Rose - leaves lips soft and supple with a hint of colour
Monday, 22 September 2008
The hen night was fun. In the end we decided we were going out. Danielle and Ste brought their kids so the rule was that they stay up there and don't come down cus we're not, not smoking in the house because they couldn't find a babysitter. Danielle was up there a lot of the time. We had to wait for the boys to come back before we could go out because someone needed to look after the kids. So all the girls went out cause Ste came back early cus he didn't think it was fair to drag the boys back cus of the kids so he came back on his own. After all the other girls had left me and Gen got a taxi home cus Rich said he was meeting us there with Si, Scott (his mums foster son) and Scotts mate Tom (or Rave On as he likes to be called). We got home, Danielle and Ste were asleep on the couch so we rang to see where Rich was. He was at Dave's so we went over. Had a bit of whizz, drink and weed and carried on getting wrecked. Everyone else walked home at 5am and Si and I hung on. We were going to do naughty stuff on a roundabout haha. It didn't happen. Some woman called Paula who I knew turned up out the blue and we ended up at her house. I was sooo bored and just wanted my Si sex. Finally I persuaded him to leave and then we got to Gens and had an amazing 4 hour session. My head was just drenched in sweat which actually made me hair, when it dried, into perfect ringlets. But because the perfect ringlets were made out of sweat I thought it best to wash them out. In the week following it was just mad rushing cause of the wedding, was at Gen's everyday trying to help her and sneak her spliffs n cigs when I could when her mum and dad weren't there. Not an easy job I tell you. Si got an ace white tie from Tie Rack to go with his back suit which he looked quite dapper in. I got my strapless bra finally, and it actually gave me cleavage!! I was shocked but very happy. Si bought Gen a gorgeous bag to go with the wedding dress too.
Well the wedding was really nice. Gen looked nice and I felt like a princess - just annoyed the shit out of me when I picked out what I wanted jewellery wise and people copied. Get your own ideas !!!
I was round the side with Ricky, Karl and Simon and we were just having a joint and we were all a bit pissed. Si turns around and says 'I could do so much better than you', after 7 months, it's not really what he should of said. So I told him to fuck off and walked off. Had the toasts and what not and got a really nice necklace as a present, it's really pretty =). Gen and Rich had their first dance and yes, I did cry. I blame the alcohol!! Not the love in the room at the time lol. I am not one to cry at weddings. Actually at the rehearsals I cried when they were taking their fake vows, but not on the actual day. Probably didn't want to smudge my perfectly applied make up (also had lovely nails done all by Kerry =D). After Gen and Rich left it all kicked off. I was a bit pissed and all, aww about Gen and Rich and everything cause at heart, im a soppy git. Scott comes over and asks if I'm alright and I'm like, yea I'm fine (I was however really upset by Si saying that to me) and we went outside for a ciggie. Just talked to loads of random people and I demanded piggy back rides. Only Micky (Rich and Scott's brother) actually gave me any. Then attempted to put me on his shoulders, which I didn't ask for and subsequently dropped me face first. Thank god I have two hands in full working order - or I could of ended up looking a tad deformed. Then for some reason things started to kick off and I didn't know why. I found out that apparently Katie (a girl at the wedding who Simon was getting into) said I was giving her evils and getting upset over Simon getting into her. I wasn't, I was still all loved up by everything and just enjoying myself. I reassured her that he was free and single and she could shag him all she wanted cus him and I have just been sleeping with each other. And she was like but it's 7 months, and I was like, so, it's not like we've stayed with each other that long without anyone else having a look in. I tried to reassure her but she kept apologising and I kept saying there was nothing to apologise for but she wasn't having in and consequently fucked off Simon because of it. None of this I knew, I was pissed. Simon and I went home with Gen's mum and dad. As soon as I got in I lay on the sofa, pulled the duvet over me and fell asleep. Gens mum and dad must of gone bed cus I got woken up by Simon pulling the duvet off me and saying "you can be fucking cold you rat". I was like wtf. And well, lets put it this way. I had the biggest arguement of my life. We were literally screaming and shouting in each others faces. He called me a bunny boiler, a rat and a psycho amongst others. I think cus we were so wrecked it made it worse. So he said he was going out, I tried stopping him, telling him to sit down and to tell me what the fuck was wrong with him. But he wouldn't. He left and I sat there sobbing - a lot. Scott came up cause he had an arguement with Micky and was going to stay here for the night. But, I wasn't exactly up for staying there, so in my bridesmaid dress, stillettos and what not I locked up the house and posted the keys through the letterbox. Scott and I went to Aunty Jo's (his foster mums/Rich and Micky's mum) for the night. I cried my eyes out there, had a couple of joints and yet more to drink. Had to borrow Aunty Jo's PJs cus I had come with nothing but underwear and a toothbrush. Got a call later that night from Simon, "open the fuckin front door", "I'm not there I can't", "oh fuck you" and he hung up. Got a call 5 min later "where have you put the keys", "through the letterbox, you said you were going out", "what the fuck" and he hung up again. I went to sleep. Woke up the next day feeling better. Micky, Scott and Aunty Jo had all made me feel a lot better. Gen n Rich came over with some of my stuff so I had something to change into. Gen told me Simon had ended up sleeping in the shed with a sleeping bag cause he didn't want to wake up Gens parents. She said he was still really pissed off. I still didn't ask why. I ended up kipping in Micky's room cus I felt really rough. I went over on Monday to collect some of my stuff from Gen's, I asked Simon if he was ready to talk yet, "I've said all I've got to say" so I just said fine.
After that Monday I've felt fine, had great luck and everything seemed to be going fine. I think the necklace I got for being bridesmaid has brought me the luck.
On Friday Susan (Si's sister) and her daughter Chloe (Si's niece) came into Asda. Chloe came bounding over and hugged me to death and also dragged me all over George. Susan and I got talking and she said pop over for a chat and things. I told Karl in general conversation and he went and told Si. I got an angry voicemail, then after work a call, "don't you think it's weird you talking to my sister" "not really I said, we get on" "your a freak" he said. Then I got this text: "Don't go dumping youself and your bullshit round at my sisters.....you caused enough shit for me at the wedding, so I don't know what the fuck you think you might achieve by going round...so I'll put this as simply as pos for you...STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME....STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY FAMILY....." to which I replied "Number 1, I didn't cause any shit for you at the wedding and number 2, you might think in the ways of oh I'll go round and bitch to get everyone to have a bad opinion on someone but I don't. Susan only invited me for like a general chat. I think you would of been the last thing we would talk about. I wouldn't have a bad word to say about you anyway. When I knew you we had a decent friendship and you did nothing but help me. I've not bitched about you to anyone except on that night. So you can just chill the fuck out." His reply to this was: "Don't play your fucking stupid little mind games with me or my family...sort your needy little self out....stay away, your starting to piss me off....". To which I replied, "Stop it now, your starting to upset me". And his lovely reply was, "I'm upsetting you...how the fuck do you think I feel...the wedding was 2 weeks ago, and your still going...so why the fuck would I give a shit about how your feeling..."YOUR GAMES WILL NOT WORK ON ME"...so sort yourself out and ask yourself this Q why the fuck would SIMON give a shit about me while I'm being a manipulative, psycotic, silly little child". At the time I was with Leigh cause he came round after work and he said, just don't reply. So I haven't done.
Well, like I said, Leigh came over after work and he suggested going to the Albert Dock. So I was like yea =) that sounds nice. We got there and we took a long walk, and it was really lovely. We have decided he is going to show me his culinary expertise and make me his lovely pasta dish and I'm going to make his favourite dessert Creme Brulee. Cause he can't do them, but loves them. I have the little blowtorch and everything for them. He bought us a McDonalds at 1 in the morning when we got back then we decided to go to the beach. As soon as we had driven up Ainsdale beach we got stuck. It hadn't rained for a week but we didn't notice the beach was waterlogged. We got stuck straight away, the nose of the car was right down. Leigh was panicing - saying it was the pay day curse. Something always goes wrong on his pay day. I was trying to calm him down and not laugh at the situation. Some guy stopped and said he would try tow it but the strength of his car wasn't enough but they tried pushing it and while Leigh accelerated they got sprayed A LOT with mud. Eventually I thought oh dear, I might have to ring Colin. He has a 4x4 Ford Ranger. So at 3am I called Colin out who managed to pull Leigh's car out. We all went back to mine; Colin went straight to bed. Leigh stayed for a coffee and ciggie. It was 4am, I told him just to kip here. So we both slept on the sofa (with no dodgy stuff happening) cause I had work 12-10.
On Sat we got up. I ate one of Colin's special bars (they are packed full of caffeine, for body builders to use in gyms, they're so full of caffeine so that at the gym they can go for like 4 hours and not get tired) and some energy tablets. Leigh and I went through the car wash but his cars shaking if he goes 50mph or above now so I've told him to go check it out. My shift went great, I was so pumped full of energy the whole time from downing energy tablets and having another of Colin's caffeine bars. I got home and got a pissed phone call from Gen about midnight. She told me all why Simon was upset. He thought I was upset and had cried cause I was jealous about him getting into this Katie and things. Now he wouldn't even sit down and talk with me to find out the truth, so I told Gen don't bother telling him the truth. Let him have his hissy fit. I've remained calm throughout. Don't let it get to me, I tell myself so I'm not. Si hasn't got it easy at the moment, I don't want to rise to his name calling and trying to upset me. It just isn't worth the hassle. We slept together for 7 months, that's it, now it feels like a break up. It's doing my head in. Why couldnt he just be like me, let it go over his head and get back to life instead of focusing on it. I'm doing that, and usually I pine after people. But I'm not - I'm fine - like he had never entered my life.
I text Susan on Sunday and said to her, "maybe it isn't such a good idea I come round cause Si and I have had that falling out and I dont think Si would be comfortable with it" (I thought maybe it was best not to tell her what Simon had actually said). She replied with: "He needs to grow up lol. Thought he was moving to the lakes lol". I replied with: "He is in a couple of months. He thinks I'm a freak for talkin to you when me and him have fallen out. I told him we just got on and he told me to stay away from his family". Susan replied with, "he is a tit tell him to get lost! it make sit even funnier if he dont like it lol". I replied with: "Well prob best thing would not to tell loadsa people and get his back up about it. He's going through a tough time at the mo. But I'll prob pop over next weekend for a chat". And she basically agreed, told her about this weekend and helping Scott clear out his room and we joked about needing gas masks and what not.
I had a free house all Sunday and it was great. I watched all my sad act recordings "Ghost Hunters" oh yes people, "Ghost Hunters": two American plumbers who have a paranormal investigation team called "Taps". It's ace though. They proper bully people. Also all my Mock the Week recordings, a hilarious satirical comedy show and obviously, the one and only........Family Guy. My mother and Colin both got back at the same time, my mother from going off and shagging this man she's having an affair with and Colin from sailing. She starting bitching at Colin and everything kicked off and I just shouted at the top of my lungs to the ceiling "fuck off". I had a nice relaxing day but arguing I didn't want to hear. So I ran upstairs into my room and cried my eyes out.
My ex-college principal Mrs. Anslow came into work on Fri and told me that I was looking better after spending the majority of last year looking and being really poorly. She said she was pleased that I had passed all 3 A Levels, despite not doing exams or coursework. She told me she'd give me a special reference to tell university's that in fact, I wasn't un-intelligent, just this year gone I've had a lot of problems. Home life, mental state, work, illness and I was predicted my A's and B's. She told me to go into college Monday morning and see her. So that is exactly what I did today. She took me into the LRC and I sat where the librarians sit. For 2 and a half hours I studied local prospectus'. My list of possible university's were: Manchester Met, Liverpool John Moore's, Manchester Uni, Salford Uni, Edge Hill and Liverpool Uni. My list of possible courses were: Cultural Studies, Fashion Promotion, Public Relations, Events Management, Business and Public Relations, Human Resource Management, Property Management and Investement and Business Studies and Sociology. I decided the one for me after seeing it, I thought, "wow", is International Fashion Marketing at Manchester Met. So I've decided to retake my A Levels this year to gain great grades and apply for there next year.
Apart from the couple of incidents with Simon, my 2 weeks have been very good. I'm sure the necklace brings good luck to me.
xXx
Well the wedding was really nice. Gen looked nice and I felt like a princess - just annoyed the shit out of me when I picked out what I wanted jewellery wise and people copied. Get your own ideas !!!
I was round the side with Ricky, Karl and Simon and we were just having a joint and we were all a bit pissed. Si turns around and says 'I could do so much better than you', after 7 months, it's not really what he should of said. So I told him to fuck off and walked off. Had the toasts and what not and got a really nice necklace as a present, it's really pretty =). Gen and Rich had their first dance and yes, I did cry. I blame the alcohol!! Not the love in the room at the time lol. I am not one to cry at weddings. Actually at the rehearsals I cried when they were taking their fake vows, but not on the actual day. Probably didn't want to smudge my perfectly applied make up (also had lovely nails done all by Kerry =D). After Gen and Rich left it all kicked off. I was a bit pissed and all, aww about Gen and Rich and everything cause at heart, im a soppy git. Scott comes over and asks if I'm alright and I'm like, yea I'm fine (I was however really upset by Si saying that to me) and we went outside for a ciggie. Just talked to loads of random people and I demanded piggy back rides. Only Micky (Rich and Scott's brother) actually gave me any. Then attempted to put me on his shoulders, which I didn't ask for and subsequently dropped me face first. Thank god I have two hands in full working order - or I could of ended up looking a tad deformed. Then for some reason things started to kick off and I didn't know why. I found out that apparently Katie (a girl at the wedding who Simon was getting into) said I was giving her evils and getting upset over Simon getting into her. I wasn't, I was still all loved up by everything and just enjoying myself. I reassured her that he was free and single and she could shag him all she wanted cus him and I have just been sleeping with each other. And she was like but it's 7 months, and I was like, so, it's not like we've stayed with each other that long without anyone else having a look in. I tried to reassure her but she kept apologising and I kept saying there was nothing to apologise for but she wasn't having in and consequently fucked off Simon because of it. None of this I knew, I was pissed. Simon and I went home with Gen's mum and dad. As soon as I got in I lay on the sofa, pulled the duvet over me and fell asleep. Gens mum and dad must of gone bed cus I got woken up by Simon pulling the duvet off me and saying "you can be fucking cold you rat". I was like wtf. And well, lets put it this way. I had the biggest arguement of my life. We were literally screaming and shouting in each others faces. He called me a bunny boiler, a rat and a psycho amongst others. I think cus we were so wrecked it made it worse. So he said he was going out, I tried stopping him, telling him to sit down and to tell me what the fuck was wrong with him. But he wouldn't. He left and I sat there sobbing - a lot. Scott came up cause he had an arguement with Micky and was going to stay here for the night. But, I wasn't exactly up for staying there, so in my bridesmaid dress, stillettos and what not I locked up the house and posted the keys through the letterbox. Scott and I went to Aunty Jo's (his foster mums/Rich and Micky's mum) for the night. I cried my eyes out there, had a couple of joints and yet more to drink. Had to borrow Aunty Jo's PJs cus I had come with nothing but underwear and a toothbrush. Got a call later that night from Simon, "open the fuckin front door", "I'm not there I can't", "oh fuck you" and he hung up. Got a call 5 min later "where have you put the keys", "through the letterbox, you said you were going out", "what the fuck" and he hung up again. I went to sleep. Woke up the next day feeling better. Micky, Scott and Aunty Jo had all made me feel a lot better. Gen n Rich came over with some of my stuff so I had something to change into. Gen told me Simon had ended up sleeping in the shed with a sleeping bag cause he didn't want to wake up Gens parents. She said he was still really pissed off. I still didn't ask why. I ended up kipping in Micky's room cus I felt really rough. I went over on Monday to collect some of my stuff from Gen's, I asked Simon if he was ready to talk yet, "I've said all I've got to say" so I just said fine.
After that Monday I've felt fine, had great luck and everything seemed to be going fine. I think the necklace I got for being bridesmaid has brought me the luck.
On Friday Susan (Si's sister) and her daughter Chloe (Si's niece) came into Asda. Chloe came bounding over and hugged me to death and also dragged me all over George. Susan and I got talking and she said pop over for a chat and things. I told Karl in general conversation and he went and told Si. I got an angry voicemail, then after work a call, "don't you think it's weird you talking to my sister" "not really I said, we get on" "your a freak" he said. Then I got this text: "Don't go dumping youself and your bullshit round at my sisters.....you caused enough shit for me at the wedding, so I don't know what the fuck you think you might achieve by going round...so I'll put this as simply as pos for you...STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME....STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY FAMILY....." to which I replied "Number 1, I didn't cause any shit for you at the wedding and number 2, you might think in the ways of oh I'll go round and bitch to get everyone to have a bad opinion on someone but I don't. Susan only invited me for like a general chat. I think you would of been the last thing we would talk about. I wouldn't have a bad word to say about you anyway. When I knew you we had a decent friendship and you did nothing but help me. I've not bitched about you to anyone except on that night. So you can just chill the fuck out." His reply to this was: "Don't play your fucking stupid little mind games with me or my family...sort your needy little self out....stay away, your starting to piss me off....". To which I replied, "Stop it now, your starting to upset me". And his lovely reply was, "I'm upsetting you...how the fuck do you think I feel...the wedding was 2 weeks ago, and your still going...so why the fuck would I give a shit about how your feeling..."YOUR GAMES WILL NOT WORK ON ME"...so sort yourself out and ask yourself this Q why the fuck would SIMON give a shit about me while I'm being a manipulative, psycotic, silly little child". At the time I was with Leigh cause he came round after work and he said, just don't reply. So I haven't done.
Well, like I said, Leigh came over after work and he suggested going to the Albert Dock. So I was like yea =) that sounds nice. We got there and we took a long walk, and it was really lovely. We have decided he is going to show me his culinary expertise and make me his lovely pasta dish and I'm going to make his favourite dessert Creme Brulee. Cause he can't do them, but loves them. I have the little blowtorch and everything for them. He bought us a McDonalds at 1 in the morning when we got back then we decided to go to the beach. As soon as we had driven up Ainsdale beach we got stuck. It hadn't rained for a week but we didn't notice the beach was waterlogged. We got stuck straight away, the nose of the car was right down. Leigh was panicing - saying it was the pay day curse. Something always goes wrong on his pay day. I was trying to calm him down and not laugh at the situation. Some guy stopped and said he would try tow it but the strength of his car wasn't enough but they tried pushing it and while Leigh accelerated they got sprayed A LOT with mud. Eventually I thought oh dear, I might have to ring Colin. He has a 4x4 Ford Ranger. So at 3am I called Colin out who managed to pull Leigh's car out. We all went back to mine; Colin went straight to bed. Leigh stayed for a coffee and ciggie. It was 4am, I told him just to kip here. So we both slept on the sofa (with no dodgy stuff happening) cause I had work 12-10.
On Sat we got up. I ate one of Colin's special bars (they are packed full of caffeine, for body builders to use in gyms, they're so full of caffeine so that at the gym they can go for like 4 hours and not get tired) and some energy tablets. Leigh and I went through the car wash but his cars shaking if he goes 50mph or above now so I've told him to go check it out. My shift went great, I was so pumped full of energy the whole time from downing energy tablets and having another of Colin's caffeine bars. I got home and got a pissed phone call from Gen about midnight. She told me all why Simon was upset. He thought I was upset and had cried cause I was jealous about him getting into this Katie and things. Now he wouldn't even sit down and talk with me to find out the truth, so I told Gen don't bother telling him the truth. Let him have his hissy fit. I've remained calm throughout. Don't let it get to me, I tell myself so I'm not. Si hasn't got it easy at the moment, I don't want to rise to his name calling and trying to upset me. It just isn't worth the hassle. We slept together for 7 months, that's it, now it feels like a break up. It's doing my head in. Why couldnt he just be like me, let it go over his head and get back to life instead of focusing on it. I'm doing that, and usually I pine after people. But I'm not - I'm fine - like he had never entered my life.
I text Susan on Sunday and said to her, "maybe it isn't such a good idea I come round cause Si and I have had that falling out and I dont think Si would be comfortable with it" (I thought maybe it was best not to tell her what Simon had actually said). She replied with: "He needs to grow up lol. Thought he was moving to the lakes lol". I replied with: "He is in a couple of months. He thinks I'm a freak for talkin to you when me and him have fallen out. I told him we just got on and he told me to stay away from his family". Susan replied with, "he is a tit tell him to get lost! it make sit even funnier if he dont like it lol". I replied with: "Well prob best thing would not to tell loadsa people and get his back up about it. He's going through a tough time at the mo. But I'll prob pop over next weekend for a chat". And she basically agreed, told her about this weekend and helping Scott clear out his room and we joked about needing gas masks and what not.
I had a free house all Sunday and it was great. I watched all my sad act recordings "Ghost Hunters" oh yes people, "Ghost Hunters": two American plumbers who have a paranormal investigation team called "Taps". It's ace though. They proper bully people. Also all my Mock the Week recordings, a hilarious satirical comedy show and obviously, the one and only........Family Guy. My mother and Colin both got back at the same time, my mother from going off and shagging this man she's having an affair with and Colin from sailing. She starting bitching at Colin and everything kicked off and I just shouted at the top of my lungs to the ceiling "fuck off". I had a nice relaxing day but arguing I didn't want to hear. So I ran upstairs into my room and cried my eyes out.
My ex-college principal Mrs. Anslow came into work on Fri and told me that I was looking better after spending the majority of last year looking and being really poorly. She said she was pleased that I had passed all 3 A Levels, despite not doing exams or coursework. She told me she'd give me a special reference to tell university's that in fact, I wasn't un-intelligent, just this year gone I've had a lot of problems. Home life, mental state, work, illness and I was predicted my A's and B's. She told me to go into college Monday morning and see her. So that is exactly what I did today. She took me into the LRC and I sat where the librarians sit. For 2 and a half hours I studied local prospectus'. My list of possible university's were: Manchester Met, Liverpool John Moore's, Manchester Uni, Salford Uni, Edge Hill and Liverpool Uni. My list of possible courses were: Cultural Studies, Fashion Promotion, Public Relations, Events Management, Business and Public Relations, Human Resource Management, Property Management and Investement and Business Studies and Sociology. I decided the one for me after seeing it, I thought, "wow", is International Fashion Marketing at Manchester Met. So I've decided to retake my A Levels this year to gain great grades and apply for there next year.
Apart from the couple of incidents with Simon, my 2 weeks have been very good. I'm sure the necklace brings good luck to me.
xXx
Sunday, 24 August 2008
Well, I've been extremely poorly for about 5-6 weeks. Most ill I have ever been in my life. What a pain in the ass. During this time I've been off work and have come to the conclusion that I have to get out of Asda. The people who bitch at me and are dicks with me really bring me down. I really don't think they realise how they affect people with the way they behave. It's not a nice place to work. Was talking to a friend of mine from there yesterday and he just basically said not to let them pull me down. If they want to make people miserable they can but I've got to look past it. I know who my friends are, and that I should concentrate on that. He had a good point. But I've been applying for proper jobs; ones with salary's which I can get my footing on the career ladder. The only problem being there seems to be a distinctive lack of jobs going in Southport for me (unless I want to become a community care worker....which I don't). But I will try as much as I can. I'm not giving up on this one.
I'm maid of honour in 2 weeks. The hen night is meant to be this coming Saturday. We were meant to be shopping for it yesterday but Gen was knackered cause her mum's been over all week and she had to set off at 3am to take her back to the airport. We went in for hairstyle ideas on Friday and Gen had her French Roll thing and then they did me. I have to say I absolutely hated what they did to my hair. I told Gen afterwards but then she went a bit funny so when we were on our own we talked about it properly and she said that we can change it. But the hairdressers was a rip off, for trying out that one style cost £10 and now another £10 to try another one. To top it off Gen got charged £20!! I mean how ridiculous. They charged £10 more for one hairstyle idea just cause she's the bride. Well she's getting very excited now, her wedding rings arrived and they are really lovely. Going to have to fit in some time to finish off hen night shopping and getting everything else prepared. God it's a mission planning a wedding. And I'm only on the sidelines!
xXx
I'm maid of honour in 2 weeks. The hen night is meant to be this coming Saturday. We were meant to be shopping for it yesterday but Gen was knackered cause her mum's been over all week and she had to set off at 3am to take her back to the airport. We went in for hairstyle ideas on Friday and Gen had her French Roll thing and then they did me. I have to say I absolutely hated what they did to my hair. I told Gen afterwards but then she went a bit funny so when we were on our own we talked about it properly and she said that we can change it. But the hairdressers was a rip off, for trying out that one style cost £10 and now another £10 to try another one. To top it off Gen got charged £20!! I mean how ridiculous. They charged £10 more for one hairstyle idea just cause she's the bride. Well she's getting very excited now, her wedding rings arrived and they are really lovely. Going to have to fit in some time to finish off hen night shopping and getting everything else prepared. God it's a mission planning a wedding. And I'm only on the sidelines!
xXx
Thursday, 17 July 2008
Too Right
Yea my mate bought me the new Liverpool shirt today!! I am so happy about it. They got a Gerrard mini kit air freshner for their car. Went Anfield museum today, saw the cup. Was magic!! Went Lambanana hunting and saw a grand total of 9. I hate Lambanana's what a waste of 5 grand a pop. Add up all the 195 scattered around Liverpool and it's nearly a million for some little statues. And now; one has turned up in Ainsdale!! Ainsdale isn't even classed as Liverpool, what they doing. So now there's a 196 I think. One day I'm goin to get wrecked and go find them. Only to take the piss. One outside Walton Prison is half warden-half prisoner (with Nike trainers) haha. I hate Lambananas - really do. Been playing pure 90s tunes and singing so loads. Went past the bizzies playing Afroman's "Cause I Got High" really loudly. Didn't look impressed but made me laugh.
Going away on Sat, can't wait. Goin to take pure piccies. The excitement might kill me. No person can put me down with how good a week I'm having and going to have.
Si has a theory - his theory no doubt will prove to be right. He knows what's what, thank god. He can see right through people. He knows the truth. He knows exactly what's right. What goes around, comes around and that. People can't get away with shit like that - not a chance. ooo Gens back tomorrow or Saturday. Won't see her though =( well missed talking to her. Her birthday next week, I'll be away but I need to think of a boss gift to give her. But can't think of anything. Ah well. I'll see what I can find.
xXx
And for the idiot who reads this to gain their info - you fuckin dick - get a life - move on!
Going away on Sat, can't wait. Goin to take pure piccies. The excitement might kill me. No person can put me down with how good a week I'm having and going to have.
Si has a theory - his theory no doubt will prove to be right. He knows what's what, thank god. He can see right through people. He knows the truth. He knows exactly what's right. What goes around, comes around and that. People can't get away with shit like that - not a chance. ooo Gens back tomorrow or Saturday. Won't see her though =( well missed talking to her. Her birthday next week, I'll be away but I need to think of a boss gift to give her. But can't think of anything. Ah well. I'll see what I can find.
xXx
And for the idiot who reads this to gain their info - you fuckin dick - get a life - move on!
Wednesday, 9 July 2008
Pathetic, Pathetic, Pathetic
Poor Kate dropped chip fat on her feet, went to A&E and her sister drove her to the hospital. They waited 4 hours and she was next to be seen but then her sister complained that she had to get up for work at 7 and took her home WITHOUT her being seen. The hospital said it was serious too - that she needed her feet dressing and to be given painkillers and her sister wouldn't even wait.
Well Gen found a picture of a girl called Tammy on Richard's phone. He's cheated before and although he proclaims that they haven't done anything and he met her playing poker on Facebook Gen doesn't want to be a walkover. She gave him one more chance and this. She wasn't sure if she wanted to walk or not; it's 6 weeks before the wedding. Well, apparently she told me they sorted it out. I can't help think; is she just being naiive? Surely it would take a lot more hassle once they're married and he does it again. She wouldn't necessarily be able to walk. I'll support her in whatever her decision may be but I think she's being naiive. How can you go into a marriage where you don't trust the partner 100%? Is it that people are too scared to walk; too scared to be single and in the dating game once again? Or in Gen's case; 6 years of being with the same guy? I would have to trust somebody 100% otherwise it just wouldn't work. I would give them one more chance if they cheated but that's it. It may be hard but I'd have my friends around me to support me. I can't help but think that maybe she thinks it's too difficult to back out now with so many things now paid for.
On Sunday I went out with Grocery and Sean to celebrate the end of Grocery's birthday weekend. We went for a meal in Lloyds, drank, went to see Hancock - not the best, but a good film. Then we went drinking again and to some clubs. In Bakers I saw Paula; the woman who kept asking me for a threesome with her and her OLD partner. No thank you. So we scarpered quick! Well I dragged them. I gave Grocery a bottle of Polish beer and a card. I think he liked it. Appropriate to me I think.
In work we have a new manager, Helen, and an assistant manager, Jane. However, Jane has worked at Asda for 2 months, she's just completed her first week in George, she knows absolutely NOTHING. She's put me in charge on so many nights because I actually know what I'm doing. Everytime I've been put in charge and looked after the department, it's spotless! Everytime she's been on, it's been an absolute mess. Last Thursday, Louise, Laura and I were on. And Jane unfortunately. We all argued with her. She was on Ladies and with whatever department your on, you take back your own returns. She wouldn't do it and tried making Laura do it. A part of George is that you follow the procdures that have been set in stone for years. Jane is ruining the place. I'm so tempted to tell Helen, our new manager, but Colin thinks I should keep my mouth shut. Jane is pathetic and knows nothing on how to run the department. I refuse to take responsibility anymore. It's proof that when I'm in charge on some evenings the place is always good. That's my point proved straight away. I hope sometime soon that Helen and the other managers actually realise how wrong she is for George. She's lazy and now on a powertrip. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.
I also now have no contact with Simon. So my sex has gone. I've got completely over Hayley and Karl and I think it's pathetic now as does everybody else. I also found out that Karl had been telling Simon I've been sleeping around when I hadn't. I confronted Karl and he said, "oh there are rumours going round". So I said to Karl, "shouldn't you check with me before you open your mouth and spread these rumours more". He replied with, "well, you lie, so you'd just lie about it". I said, "well, not about this!" So I decided to take matters into my own hands and check with people who tell me the truth about rumours going round about me and none have gone round. Karl had actually MADE THEM UP! Now, is this because of jealousy? When him and I slept together Karl was very kissy, very cuddly, holding hands etc. You catch my drift. Then I went back to Simon. Karl is now with Hayley. At first he was all happy and everything but the other day I was approaching customer service desk and saw them (before they saw me). Hayley was talking to Karl and Karl was looking very bored and just looking around everywhere except at her. Then as soon as I approached he decided to have a big smile on his face. He's trying to make me jealous and it just isn't working whatsoever, If he wants to be miserable with her, he can be! Even his best friend said she was ugly. Karl is a very chilled out person and Hayley, well is basically hyper and annoying until she has some cannabis. It won't work. If Hayley dares approaches me when they break up to be friends then I'll tell her where to go. Suddenly she's best mates with obsessive Sean and Sahar. The people that don't like me are building up a little club. Well it's not going to indimidate me and they can have their bitching sessions. If anything it's an ego boost. I really am special enough for people to talk about. Aww.
Well I'm going to go downtown soon to Asda and try on the lingerie I've held. Also going to return my lovely set which I spent £10 on the bra and £4 on the knickers. They all got marked down the day after so I'll return it and re buy it for £5 and £2 respectively. No one thought to tell me they were going down, I just wouldn't have bought it otherwise. Meeting Gen as well downtown and she's coming back to mine. Then I can find out Richards excuses and Gen's reasoning on why she's stuck with up. Updates soon.
xXx
Well Gen found a picture of a girl called Tammy on Richard's phone. He's cheated before and although he proclaims that they haven't done anything and he met her playing poker on Facebook Gen doesn't want to be a walkover. She gave him one more chance and this. She wasn't sure if she wanted to walk or not; it's 6 weeks before the wedding. Well, apparently she told me they sorted it out. I can't help think; is she just being naiive? Surely it would take a lot more hassle once they're married and he does it again. She wouldn't necessarily be able to walk. I'll support her in whatever her decision may be but I think she's being naiive. How can you go into a marriage where you don't trust the partner 100%? Is it that people are too scared to walk; too scared to be single and in the dating game once again? Or in Gen's case; 6 years of being with the same guy? I would have to trust somebody 100% otherwise it just wouldn't work. I would give them one more chance if they cheated but that's it. It may be hard but I'd have my friends around me to support me. I can't help but think that maybe she thinks it's too difficult to back out now with so many things now paid for.
On Sunday I went out with Grocery and Sean to celebrate the end of Grocery's birthday weekend. We went for a meal in Lloyds, drank, went to see Hancock - not the best, but a good film. Then we went drinking again and to some clubs. In Bakers I saw Paula; the woman who kept asking me for a threesome with her and her OLD partner. No thank you. So we scarpered quick! Well I dragged them. I gave Grocery a bottle of Polish beer and a card. I think he liked it. Appropriate to me I think.
In work we have a new manager, Helen, and an assistant manager, Jane. However, Jane has worked at Asda for 2 months, she's just completed her first week in George, she knows absolutely NOTHING. She's put me in charge on so many nights because I actually know what I'm doing. Everytime I've been put in charge and looked after the department, it's spotless! Everytime she's been on, it's been an absolute mess. Last Thursday, Louise, Laura and I were on. And Jane unfortunately. We all argued with her. She was on Ladies and with whatever department your on, you take back your own returns. She wouldn't do it and tried making Laura do it. A part of George is that you follow the procdures that have been set in stone for years. Jane is ruining the place. I'm so tempted to tell Helen, our new manager, but Colin thinks I should keep my mouth shut. Jane is pathetic and knows nothing on how to run the department. I refuse to take responsibility anymore. It's proof that when I'm in charge on some evenings the place is always good. That's my point proved straight away. I hope sometime soon that Helen and the other managers actually realise how wrong she is for George. She's lazy and now on a powertrip. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.
I also now have no contact with Simon. So my sex has gone. I've got completely over Hayley and Karl and I think it's pathetic now as does everybody else. I also found out that Karl had been telling Simon I've been sleeping around when I hadn't. I confronted Karl and he said, "oh there are rumours going round". So I said to Karl, "shouldn't you check with me before you open your mouth and spread these rumours more". He replied with, "well, you lie, so you'd just lie about it". I said, "well, not about this!" So I decided to take matters into my own hands and check with people who tell me the truth about rumours going round about me and none have gone round. Karl had actually MADE THEM UP! Now, is this because of jealousy? When him and I slept together Karl was very kissy, very cuddly, holding hands etc. You catch my drift. Then I went back to Simon. Karl is now with Hayley. At first he was all happy and everything but the other day I was approaching customer service desk and saw them (before they saw me). Hayley was talking to Karl and Karl was looking very bored and just looking around everywhere except at her. Then as soon as I approached he decided to have a big smile on his face. He's trying to make me jealous and it just isn't working whatsoever, If he wants to be miserable with her, he can be! Even his best friend said she was ugly. Karl is a very chilled out person and Hayley, well is basically hyper and annoying until she has some cannabis. It won't work. If Hayley dares approaches me when they break up to be friends then I'll tell her where to go. Suddenly she's best mates with obsessive Sean and Sahar. The people that don't like me are building up a little club. Well it's not going to indimidate me and they can have their bitching sessions. If anything it's an ego boost. I really am special enough for people to talk about. Aww.
Well I'm going to go downtown soon to Asda and try on the lingerie I've held. Also going to return my lovely set which I spent £10 on the bra and £4 on the knickers. They all got marked down the day after so I'll return it and re buy it for £5 and £2 respectively. No one thought to tell me they were going down, I just wouldn't have bought it otherwise. Meeting Gen as well downtown and she's coming back to mine. Then I can find out Richards excuses and Gen's reasoning on why she's stuck with up. Updates soon.
xXx
Saturday, 28 June 2008
Not Happy..........
My friend Hayley who works on customer services broke up with her boyfriend on Sunday I think it was. Karl took her out Wednesday to cheer her up and they went back to Karl's and got wrecked with Si. When Si went to bed they kissed. I'm not happy though. At the end of the day, Si and I asked permission to start seeing each other and we didn't hide it. It's too awkward, we all work together and I don't know why I'm just not happy with it and when she asked I told her I wasn't and she said "Let's see what happens" which means she's going to go and do it anyway and I don't know just grrrrrrr. Gen said I've got Simon so I shouldn't bother, but Karl and I slept together on our own. We hugged, we kissed, we held hands, it was nice, the problem was it had feeling. I have feelings..........and I still kinda like him even when he's grown his hair into some unknown afro type of thing.
I don't know what to do.
I've got to let him go at some point - but this is too close to home
xXx
I don't know what to do.
I've got to let him go at some point - but this is too close to home
xXx
Wednesday, 25 June 2008
....I want to wreck my stockings in some juke box dive
Someone just sent me this is an e-mail:
Silky hair frames her face
A face of beauty and timeless grace
Her eyes are large, round yet empty
Where shadows lie, there are secrets...plenty
The mirror hides what’s deep inside
A broken smile hides helpless cries.
Cute.
Well it's Wednesday and as I'm typing this at twenty past 3 in the afternoon I'm not in Rossendale. Nikki got some bad news about her mother so couldn't make it so I got up late, Nikki came round, we went out and got a subway and a Corenetto ice-cream and now she's gone again to see her mother and then to go out with Pete for a Chinese.
In the words of the White Stripes; "I just don't know what to do with myself". I think I shouldn't have been so optimistic about the next 3 weeks; it'll all be a disaster. Even I know that. Don't think Chink will even come round despite the tickets being bought and everything. I texted him and pranked him today and he's not even text me back. Which makes me think. Decided, I hate it. In one of them moods completely. Just feel like shit with nothing to do and with me that is never a good combination for anything. Gen isn't even texting me back which makes me think that I've done something wrong but what that wrong is, I don't know. I need to do something and hear from people cause I am getting dead paranoid and I know it's stupid but I hate ebign on my own and I go into thinking overdrive.
Fuck sake.
Silky hair frames her face
A face of beauty and timeless grace
Her eyes are large, round yet empty
Where shadows lie, there are secrets...plenty
The mirror hides what’s deep inside
A broken smile hides helpless cries.
Cute.
Well it's Wednesday and as I'm typing this at twenty past 3 in the afternoon I'm not in Rossendale. Nikki got some bad news about her mother so couldn't make it so I got up late, Nikki came round, we went out and got a subway and a Corenetto ice-cream and now she's gone again to see her mother and then to go out with Pete for a Chinese.
In the words of the White Stripes; "I just don't know what to do with myself". I think I shouldn't have been so optimistic about the next 3 weeks; it'll all be a disaster. Even I know that. Don't think Chink will even come round despite the tickets being bought and everything. I texted him and pranked him today and he's not even text me back. Which makes me think. Decided, I hate it. In one of them moods completely. Just feel like shit with nothing to do and with me that is never a good combination for anything. Gen isn't even texting me back which makes me think that I've done something wrong but what that wrong is, I don't know. I need to do something and hear from people cause I am getting dead paranoid and I know it's stupid but I hate ebign on my own and I go into thinking overdrive.
Fuck sake.
Monday, 23 June 2008
Vagrant.............
Well on Wednesday I'm going over to Rossendale with my lovely friend Nikki cause we needed a random drive and I thought - hey I know the area. Seeing Chink as well for a little bit which will be weird weird weird. I could of waited till July. But for some reason, I feel kinda low self confidence and I think he'll take one look at me and laugh. He said course he wouldn't but I dunno, I feel weird about it all.
Stayed at Karl's last night. Si was all good with me all day being nice, then Karl and him went to the pub and they came back and Si was all going on about shagging people and I mean - come on - I've been sleeping with him for 5 months knowing nothing is going to come of it. Doesn't mean he has to start going on about that. It'll definately make me sleep with him less. When he shags his bit on the side - it's only been twice but the condom split so he had to stop. What if the condom splits when he's shagging a random who also has a STD. Not sure if I want to take the risk. Gen said I've got Chink now so Si can go to hell but Chink isn't exactly here right now is it. He's not to hand and I don't particularly want to sleep with any random people so oh well. I'm sure Karl is encouraging it too. Si stops talkin about it and is fine with me then Karl will look over, see we're fine and bring it up again. It's making things awkward. i don't know what he's playing at. But if I've learnt anything by knowing Si it's the fact a lot of the time he's all mouth and nothing more. Bless him. This morning Si still wasn't 100% better so he stayed at home; Karl wasn't at work and Gen n Rich went out to work. We sat there and had a great smoke and I've been fucked all day lol.
Chink is probably going to be skint when he comes over, oooo less than 3 weeks now. So it'll be nice not to have to "entertain" him, you know, go out and stuff because he knows I can't afford it so we'll just be chilling. That I guess will be the most realistic thing to do if he's thinking of moving. Obviously it's not a "normal" situation but sitting around chilling in each other's company will be the biggest thing that could decide if there will be a me and him. If it doesn't work out then I don't know. It's start afresh again. Don't know if I can do that. So much effort for nothing type of thing. Was feeling really insecure so I said to Chink that I don't think he'll come at all, and he sent texts persuading me that of course he'll be there cause he's looking forward to it too much. I said you'll find an excuse; money, losing the ticket, circumstances. He sent me this text, "I will, I promise. Even if I'm as poor as a vagrant smackhead". I laughed at that despite not knowing what vagrant means. Looking it up, it says, "a person who wanders about idly and has no permanent home or employment; vagabond; tramp". Well, I hope he's not quite as bad as that.
Have an eye consultation tomorrow at the Dior counter. Can't wait ^.^ despite having a big fuck off spot at the end of my nose. Everyone has said I've got pen on my nose and I've had to explain to everyone, which really was not the best thing. Makes me really paranoid and Karl pointing it out and laughing loudly didn't do much for my confidence. He's can be a knob sometimes.
xXx
Stayed at Karl's last night. Si was all good with me all day being nice, then Karl and him went to the pub and they came back and Si was all going on about shagging people and I mean - come on - I've been sleeping with him for 5 months knowing nothing is going to come of it. Doesn't mean he has to start going on about that. It'll definately make me sleep with him less. When he shags his bit on the side - it's only been twice but the condom split so he had to stop. What if the condom splits when he's shagging a random who also has a STD. Not sure if I want to take the risk. Gen said I've got Chink now so Si can go to hell but Chink isn't exactly here right now is it. He's not to hand and I don't particularly want to sleep with any random people so oh well. I'm sure Karl is encouraging it too. Si stops talkin about it and is fine with me then Karl will look over, see we're fine and bring it up again. It's making things awkward. i don't know what he's playing at. But if I've learnt anything by knowing Si it's the fact a lot of the time he's all mouth and nothing more. Bless him. This morning Si still wasn't 100% better so he stayed at home; Karl wasn't at work and Gen n Rich went out to work. We sat there and had a great smoke and I've been fucked all day lol.
Chink is probably going to be skint when he comes over, oooo less than 3 weeks now. So it'll be nice not to have to "entertain" him, you know, go out and stuff because he knows I can't afford it so we'll just be chilling. That I guess will be the most realistic thing to do if he's thinking of moving. Obviously it's not a "normal" situation but sitting around chilling in each other's company will be the biggest thing that could decide if there will be a me and him. If it doesn't work out then I don't know. It's start afresh again. Don't know if I can do that. So much effort for nothing type of thing. Was feeling really insecure so I said to Chink that I don't think he'll come at all, and he sent texts persuading me that of course he'll be there cause he's looking forward to it too much. I said you'll find an excuse; money, losing the ticket, circumstances. He sent me this text, "I will, I promise. Even if I'm as poor as a vagrant smackhead". I laughed at that despite not knowing what vagrant means. Looking it up, it says, "a person who wanders about idly and has no permanent home or employment; vagabond; tramp". Well, I hope he's not quite as bad as that.
Have an eye consultation tomorrow at the Dior counter. Can't wait ^.^ despite having a big fuck off spot at the end of my nose. Everyone has said I've got pen on my nose and I've had to explain to everyone, which really was not the best thing. Makes me really paranoid and Karl pointing it out and laughing loudly didn't do much for my confidence. He's can be a knob sometimes.
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