The hen night was fun. In the end we decided we were going out. Danielle and Ste brought their kids so the rule was that they stay up there and don't come down cus we're not, not smoking in the house because they couldn't find a babysitter. Danielle was up there a lot of the time. We had to wait for the boys to come back before we could go out because someone needed to look after the kids. So all the girls went out cause Ste came back early cus he didn't think it was fair to drag the boys back cus of the kids so he came back on his own. After all the other girls had left me and Gen got a taxi home cus Rich said he was meeting us there with Si, Scott (his mums foster son) and Scotts mate Tom (or Rave On as he likes to be called). We got home, Danielle and Ste were asleep on the couch so we rang to see where Rich was. He was at Dave's so we went over. Had a bit of whizz, drink and weed and carried on getting wrecked. Everyone else walked home at 5am and Si and I hung on. We were going to do naughty stuff on a roundabout haha. It didn't happen. Some woman called Paula who I knew turned up out the blue and we ended up at her house. I was sooo bored and just wanted my Si sex. Finally I persuaded him to leave and then we got to Gens and had an amazing 4 hour session. My head was just drenched in sweat which actually made me hair, when it dried, into perfect ringlets. But because the perfect ringlets were made out of sweat I thought it best to wash them out. In the week following it was just mad rushing cause of the wedding, was at Gen's everyday trying to help her and sneak her spliffs n cigs when I could when her mum and dad weren't there. Not an easy job I tell you. Si got an ace white tie from Tie Rack to go with his back suit which he looked quite dapper in. I got my strapless bra finally, and it actually gave me cleavage!! I was shocked but very happy. Si bought Gen a gorgeous bag to go with the wedding dress too.

Well the wedding was really nice. Gen looked nice and I felt like a princess - just annoyed the shit out of me when I picked out what I wanted jewellery wise and people copied. Get your own ideas !!!

I was round the side with Ricky, Karl and Simon and we were just having a joint and we were all a bit pissed. Si turns around and says 'I could do so much better than you', after 7 months, it's not really what he should of said. So I told him to fuck off and walked off. Had the toasts and what not and got a really nice necklace as a present, it's really pretty =). Gen and Rich had their first dance and yes, I did cry. I blame the alcohol!! Not the love in the room at the time lol. I am not one to cry at weddings. Actually at the rehearsals I cried when they were taking their fake vows, but not on the actual day. Probably didn't want to smudge my perfectly applied make up (also had lovely nails done all by Kerry =D). After Gen and Rich left it all kicked off. I was a bit pissed and all, aww about Gen and Rich and everything cause at heart, im a soppy git. Scott comes over and asks if I'm alright and I'm like, yea I'm fine (I was however really upset by Si saying that to me) and we went outside for a ciggie. Just talked to loads of random people and I demanded piggy back rides. Only Micky (Rich and Scott's brother) actually gave me any. Then attempted to put me on his shoulders, which I didn't ask for and subsequently dropped me face first. Thank god I have two hands in full working order - or I could of ended up looking a tad deformed. Then for some reason things started to kick off and I didn't know why. I found out that apparently Katie (a girl at the wedding who Simon was getting into) said I was giving her evils and getting upset over Simon getting into her. I wasn't, I was still all loved up by everything and just enjoying myself. I reassured her that he was free and single and she could shag him all she wanted cus him and I have just been sleeping with each other. And she was like but it's 7 months, and I was like, so, it's not like we've stayed with each other that long without anyone else having a look in. I tried to reassure her but she kept apologising and I kept saying there was nothing to apologise for but she wasn't having in and consequently fucked off Simon because of it. None of this I knew, I was pissed. Simon and I went home with Gen's mum and dad. As soon as I got in I lay on the sofa, pulled the duvet over me and fell asleep. Gens mum and dad must of gone bed cus I got woken up by Simon pulling the duvet off me and saying "you can be fucking cold you rat". I was like wtf. And well, lets put it this way. I had the biggest arguement of my life. We were literally screaming and shouting in each others faces. He called me a bunny boiler, a rat and a psycho amongst others. I think cus we were so wrecked it made it worse. So he said he was going out, I tried stopping him, telling him to sit down and to tell me what the fuck was wrong with him. But he wouldn't. He left and I sat there sobbing - a lot. Scott came up cause he had an arguement with Micky and was going to stay here for the night. But, I wasn't exactly up for staying there, so in my bridesmaid dress, stillettos and what not I locked up the house and posted the keys through the letterbox. Scott and I went to Aunty Jo's (his foster mums/Rich and Micky's mum) for the night. I cried my eyes out there, had a couple of joints and yet more to drink. Had to borrow Aunty Jo's PJs cus I had come with nothing but underwear and a toothbrush. Got a call later that night from Simon, "open the fuckin front door", "I'm not there I can't", "oh fuck you" and he hung up. Got a call 5 min later "where have you put the keys", "through the letterbox, you said you were going out", "what the fuck" and he hung up again. I went to sleep. Woke up the next day feeling better. Micky, Scott and Aunty Jo had all made me feel a lot better. Gen n Rich came over with some of my stuff so I had something to change into. Gen told me Simon had ended up sleeping in the shed with a sleeping bag cause he didn't want to wake up Gens parents. She said he was still really pissed off. I still didn't ask why. I ended up kipping in Micky's room cus I felt really rough. I went over on Monday to collect some of my stuff from Gen's, I asked Simon if he was ready to talk yet, "I've said all I've got to say" so I just said fine.

After that Monday I've felt fine, had great luck and everything seemed to be going fine. I think the necklace I got for being bridesmaid has brought me the luck.

On Friday Susan (Si's sister) and her daughter Chloe (Si's niece) came into Asda. Chloe came bounding over and hugged me to death and also dragged me all over George. Susan and I got talking and she said pop over for a chat and things. I told Karl in general conversation and he went and told Si. I got an angry voicemail, then after work a call, "don't you think it's weird you talking to my sister" "not really I said, we get on" "your a freak" he said. Then I got this text: "Don't go dumping youself and your bullshit round at my sisters.....you caused enough shit for me at the wedding, so I don't know what the fuck you think you might achieve by going round...so I'll put this as simply as pos for you...STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME....STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY FAMILY....." to which I replied "Number 1, I didn't cause any shit for you at the wedding and number 2, you might think in the ways of oh I'll go round and bitch to get everyone to have a bad opinion on someone but I don't. Susan only invited me for like a general chat. I think you would of been the last thing we would talk about. I wouldn't have a bad word to say about you anyway. When I knew you we had a decent friendship and you did nothing but help me. I've not bitched about you to anyone except on that night. So you can just chill the fuck out." His reply to this was: "Don't play your fucking stupid little mind games with me or my family...sort your needy little self out....stay away, your starting to piss me off....". To which I replied, "Stop it now, your starting to upset me". And his lovely reply was, "I'm upsetting you...how the fuck do you think I feel...the wedding was 2 weeks ago, and your still going...so why the fuck would I give a shit about how your feeling..."YOUR GAMES WILL NOT WORK ON ME"...so sort yourself out and ask yourself this Q why the fuck would SIMON give a shit about me while I'm being a manipulative, psycotic, silly little child". At the time I was with Leigh cause he came round after work and he said, just don't reply. So I haven't done.

Well, like I said, Leigh came over after work and he suggested going to the Albert Dock. So I was like yea =) that sounds nice. We got there and we took a long walk, and it was really lovely. We have decided he is going to show me his culinary expertise and make me his lovely pasta dish and I'm going to make his favourite dessert Creme Brulee. Cause he can't do them, but loves them. I have the little blowtorch and everything for them. He bought us a McDonalds at 1 in the morning when we got back then we decided to go to the beach. As soon as we had driven up Ainsdale beach we got stuck. It hadn't rained for a week but we didn't notice the beach was waterlogged. We got stuck straight away, the nose of the car was right down. Leigh was panicing - saying it was the pay day curse. Something always goes wrong on his pay day. I was trying to calm him down and not laugh at the situation. Some guy stopped and said he would try tow it but the strength of his car wasn't enough but they tried pushing it and while Leigh accelerated they got sprayed A LOT with mud. Eventually I thought oh dear, I might have to ring Colin. He has a 4x4 Ford Ranger. So at 3am I called Colin out who managed to pull Leigh's car out. We all went back to mine; Colin went straight to bed. Leigh stayed for a coffee and ciggie. It was 4am, I told him just to kip here. So we both slept on the sofa (with no dodgy stuff happening) cause I had work 12-10.

On Sat we got up. I ate one of Colin's special bars (they are packed full of caffeine, for body builders to use in gyms, they're so full of caffeine so that at the gym they can go for like 4 hours and not get tired) and some energy tablets. Leigh and I went through the car wash but his cars shaking if he goes 50mph or above now so I've told him to go check it out. My shift went great, I was so pumped full of energy the whole time from downing energy tablets and having another of Colin's caffeine bars. I got home and got a pissed phone call from Gen about midnight. She told me all why Simon was upset. He thought I was upset and had cried cause I was jealous about him getting into this Katie and things. Now he wouldn't even sit down and talk with me to find out the truth, so I told Gen don't bother telling him the truth. Let him have his hissy fit. I've remained calm throughout. Don't let it get to me, I tell myself so I'm not. Si hasn't got it easy at the moment, I don't want to rise to his name calling and trying to upset me. It just isn't worth the hassle. We slept together for 7 months, that's it, now it feels like a break up. It's doing my head in. Why couldnt he just be like me, let it go over his head and get back to life instead of focusing on it. I'm doing that, and usually I pine after people. But I'm not - I'm fine - like he had never entered my life.

I text Susan on Sunday and said to her, "maybe it isn't such a good idea I come round cause Si and I have had that falling out and I dont think Si would be comfortable with it" (I thought maybe it was best not to tell her what Simon had actually said). She replied with: "He needs to grow up lol. Thought he was moving to the lakes lol". I replied with: "He is in a couple of months. He thinks I'm a freak for talkin to you when me and him have fallen out. I told him we just got on and he told me to stay away from his family". Susan replied with, "he is a tit tell him to get lost! it make sit even funnier if he dont like it lol". I replied with: "Well prob best thing would not to tell loadsa people and get his back up about it. He's going through a tough time at the mo. But I'll prob pop over next weekend for a chat". And she basically agreed, told her about this weekend and helping Scott clear out his room and we joked about needing gas masks and what not.

I had a free house all Sunday and it was great. I watched all my sad act recordings "Ghost Hunters" oh yes people, "Ghost Hunters": two American plumbers who have a paranormal investigation team called "Taps". It's ace though. They proper bully people. Also all my Mock the Week recordings, a hilarious satirical comedy show and obviously, the one and only........Family Guy. My mother and Colin both got back at the same time, my mother from going off and shagging this man she's having an affair with and Colin from sailing. She starting bitching at Colin and everything kicked off and I just shouted at the top of my lungs to the ceiling "fuck off". I had a nice relaxing day but arguing I didn't want to hear. So I ran upstairs into my room and cried my eyes out.

My ex-college principal Mrs. Anslow came into work on Fri and told me that I was looking better after spending the majority of last year looking and being really poorly. She said she was pleased that I had passed all 3 A Levels, despite not doing exams or coursework. She told me she'd give me a special reference to tell university's that in fact, I wasn't un-intelligent, just this year gone I've had a lot of problems. Home life, mental state, work, illness and I was predicted my A's and B's. She told me to go into college Monday morning and see her. So that is exactly what I did today. She took me into the LRC and I sat where the librarians sit. For 2 and a half hours I studied local prospectus'. My list of possible university's were: Manchester Met, Liverpool John Moore's, Manchester Uni, Salford Uni, Edge Hill and Liverpool Uni. My list of possible courses were: Cultural Studies, Fashion Promotion, Public Relations, Events Management, Business and Public Relations, Human Resource Management, Property Management and Investement and Business Studies and Sociology. I decided the one for me after seeing it, I thought, "wow", is International Fashion Marketing at Manchester Met. So I've decided to retake my A Levels this year to gain great grades and apply for there next year.


Apart from the couple of incidents with Simon, my 2 weeks have been very good. I'm sure the necklace brings good luck to me.

xXx